Suck it mortals!

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 11/18/2014 at 09:03 • Filed to: None

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Went to have a physical. Doctor told me that I'm going to live forever.

505Turbeaux > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:05

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good for you! I only get that from the dentist...

bitch I know my teeth are going to last forever

Coty > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:08

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Shit I'll be lucky to make it to 21, I think.

William Byrd > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:09

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Shoot, my dentist told me I was born without wisdom teeth. #evolved

Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:09

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Are you from Olympus or Asgard?

CalzoneGolem > Coty 11/18/2014 at 09:10

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It's nice to have goals.

CalzoneGolem > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:11

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If it makes you feel any better I don't get that from my dentist. I just had four old fillings removed and replaced with bigger better ones. Then I was told they'd need crowns if they got worse.

Coty > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:11

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I might just be pessimistic this morning. I dunno.

505Turbeaux > William Byrd 11/18/2014 at 09:11

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I have the same exact thing actually. I have never known anyone else who had this. also never had braces or a single cavity

CalzoneGolem > Nighthawkwill7, Hoon Depot Manager 11/18/2014 at 09:12

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I live in a suburb of Asgard.

spanfucker retire bitch > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:12

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Well duh, Golems made of Calzones have no souls. Can't die, if you're not truly "alive."

CalzoneGolem > Coty 11/18/2014 at 09:12

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Must be a VW thing.

William Byrd > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:12

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I was more than happy to find that out, no wisdom teeth removal BS.

I think I've had a cavity before, but it's been awhile. No braces, although it's debatable whether or not I should have gotten them.

CalzoneGolem > spanfucker retire bitch 11/18/2014 at 09:13

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True story.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:13

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Care to take a wager on that? :P

Coty > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:14

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1. You can't say "VW thing" unless it's a pun.

2. Nope.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:15

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As someone who doesn't get told that, what is your mouth care routine?

CalzoneGolem > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 09:16

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Not really. How could I possibly collect?

505Turbeaux > William Byrd 11/18/2014 at 09:16

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my sister had just heinous teeth issues. I think a few grew in backwards, a few were missing. Cost my parents a small import cars worth of money to fix. They were very happy I had perfect teeth. Both my parents had dental issues too. Don't know where that came from. I am wondering if evolved also means losing all of your hair at an early age too...cause I have that going for me since I was 22 (not bad, just high hairline, but I am cool with it)

CalzoneGolem > Coty 11/18/2014 at 09:17

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Does that mean I have to call it a Type 181?

505Turbeaux > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 09:19

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I didn't go to the dentist for 10 years and I was scared because I brush once a day, most days, floss once every few weeks. I don't drink more than one soda every few weeks, and I binge on reeses peanut butter cups once every few months, but that is it for candy. I do drink 2- beers daily. Stay away from liquor, especially mixed with juice.

William Byrd > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:19

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If that's the definition, we are Adam and Eve (which is awkward, I call Adam) because that's about exactly when I started to lose mine. I'm 38 now and alternate between shaving it and letting it grow in about the same length as the beard.

Coty > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:20

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Unless it's RHD.

505Turbeaux > William Byrd 11/18/2014 at 09:23

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I usually rock it long as I can without looking ridiculous, I am 35. You must have been on flouride when you were a kiddo too right

And long hair dos not equal eve :)

William Byrd > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:25

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Yep, we were on well water so flouride was definitely a thing back then.

Hey I called Adam, its too late.

505Turbeaux > William Byrd 11/18/2014 at 09:26

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haha yeah the pink and green pills probably. I was on well too.

Dammit

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:28

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Well I could set up a trust that would pay out on you 200th birthday or something.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:30

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I hate you and your evolved teeth.

505Turbeaux > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 09:31

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out of curiosity did you have flouride in the water or in pill form when you were a kid?

EL_ULY > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:32

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not fair, you're half racecar!

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:33

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Nope, although my best friend did for most of his childhood (his family was also mostly cavity free), so that must be it.

spanfucker retire bitch > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:33

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Oh, SubAss. I've been there. Nice place.

505Turbeaux > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 09:42

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in my state the people who were down south got flouride, and have much better dental health, the people up north in potato country did not and refer to teeth as being "soft" with all kinds of rot and easily broken teeth. I smacked my grille with a literally handful of hammers once tripping down some stairs and didnt break a one somehow

CalzoneGolem > spanfucker retire bitch 11/18/2014 at 09:43

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Great school system.

CalzoneGolem > EL_ULY 11/18/2014 at 09:44

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Yup and I've already removed my horn and armrest.

CalzoneGolem > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 09:45

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Ok I'll include a clause in my will to pay you if I die.

CalzoneGolem > Coty 11/18/2014 at 09:46

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This is confusing.

ttyymmnn > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:46

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SR20.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:48

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I know the day I'm going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date on it.

-Steven Wright

CalzoneGolem > ttyymmnn 11/18/2014 at 09:48

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CalzoneGolem > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 11/18/2014 at 09:49

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Convenient!

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 09:50

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Deal.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > 505Turbeaux 11/18/2014 at 09:52

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Hmm good to know. Is hair loss a side effect? asking for any future children I may have...

Rainbow > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 09:54

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I know you're not asking ME, but I only brush once before bed and sometimes do a really half-assed job. Then I don't floss or anything and I usually forget to brush before my appointment, and then the dentist tells me to work on my flossing but otherwise everything is perfect.

Hell, my teeth are so badass that I had all my canines removed (to make room for braces) and the ones behind them grew into points to take their place.

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Rainbow 11/18/2014 at 09:57

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Are you sure they didn't pull your bicuspids? They are the teeth directly behind your eye-teeth (canines). I wan't aware pulling canines was ever an option.

ttyymmnn > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 10:00

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Your doctor has a chalkboard in the exam room? Interesting.

CalzoneGolem > ttyymmnn 11/18/2014 at 10:01

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That's how we roll in Subass

Rainbow > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 11/18/2014 at 10:06

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I can double-check, but I'm almost positive that I had all flat teeth for a month or so.

Imirrelephant > CalzoneGolem 11/18/2014 at 10:14

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